(Facetiously Answered Questions)
Many questions have been directed at the CooperToons website and the author and illustrates welcomes all inquiries. But first - as is de riguer for all websites - is a list of frequently hypothetically asked questions.
- First things first. Just what is CooperToons?
- CooperToons seems to be in a state of continual flux. What can justify changes if CooperToons is indeed a site dedicated to spreading truth and enlightenment? Truth, after all, never changes.
- You mentioned that the changes might make some viewers believe less work is being done. Is this just an excuse to cover the fact that the "changes" in CooperToons are simply the result of sloth, indifference, and too much time surfing the net?
- Can you expound a bit on the last answer? How can you bring more education and enlightenment to the world since your website is already available to all viewers throughout the world?
- But what makes you decide to either post a drawing or an essay on any given topic?
- You say CooperToons is educational and non-commercial, but I note that your site has considerable - I quote "Cartoons, Caricatures, and Other Illustrated Humor". This seems like a strange way to bring - and again I quote - "enlightenment into our increasingly credulous era".
- I am a web programmer and I think your web site is too simple. You could make your site much more interesting with patterned colored background, colored text, and animated graphics.
- I must also point out I noticed that your home page uses (ptui) tables in its layout. Don't you know that tables are only for presenting tabular data and not for layout? Only the most puerile, infantile, and un-American web programmers use tables. So start using divs instead and prove your patriotism!
- What's the beef about sites that use advertisment to garner revenue? Now in our country, enterprise is valued above all else. So why won't you start reaping the benefits of our free market economy, and prove to us all that you are a true, patriotic American? Put up some ads!
- In some of your writings you get rather preachy about the lack of accuracy on the Internet. Indeed, to use your own oft worn phrase, you will go into - quote "spittle-flinging diatribes" - unquote - which make Donald Duck in his most incoherent irascibility come off like he's reciting the theological writings of Albert Schweitzer. And yet you, yourself, are writing on the Internet. Isn't this the pot calling the kettle black?
- All, right, Mr. Know-It-All, you've told us how your website is up here for Truth, Justice, and the American Way. So just how do you make a decision on what sources are the most reliable? After all, what gives you the authority to select what is the truth and what is not?
- Although you seem to think this is an impossibility, I think I've found an error in one of your so-called Most Merry and Illustrated Histories or in one of your biographical essays. Might one ask His Highness if he would accept a correction?
- I take great exception to some of your so-called histories and wrote you an E-mail with the corrections and the sources of information. Still the article hasn't been corrected. If we have disagreement here, can't we carry out a rational discussion on the issue? And certainly can't you have the common courtesy of at least acknowledging my E-mails?
- Some of your information about the subjects of your histories and biographies seems irrelevant. Shouldn't you focus more on the individual's greatest achievements?
- I noticed the last answer ended with a preposition. What's the matter with your grammar?
- The more I look at your website, the more I find your illustrations, statements, essays, and stories puerile and offensive. How much longer must we suffer from such immaturity?
- You make many snide comments about people who spend time watching television, motion pictures, and listening to talk radio shows. Why have you such a obsession about demeaning modern technology and those who enjoy contemporary culture?
- Why don't you start a CooperToons blog?
- I notice you have relatively little information of famous American political figures. Shouldn't you, if you are a truly interested in eradicating ignorance, help publicize the accomplishments of the dedicated men and women who have made America the greatest country in the history of the world?
- I was greatly offended when I saw you posted one of you biographical essays in Spanish. As an American, shouldn't you only use English?
- You seem to take a rather condescending attitude about the educational level of the average man or woman. How can you claim, for instance, - quote - "no one" - unquote - knows the - quote - "historical figures" - unquote - that are the subjects of your caricatures?
- From the last answer, I find your hauteur even more hypocritical and extreme. After all, there is a rumor that you yourself have never seen an episode of Seinfeld, The West Wing, or The Sopranos and an even graver report that you haven't watched a Super Bowl since 1975. So how can you claim to be well-informed enough to preach about, much less combat ignorance? How can you even call yourself an American?
- I was greatly offended by something you wrote and one of your pictures. They were insulting to me and my friends and I demand an apology.
- After reading these FAQs I question the suitability of this website for my friends, family, and my children. I'm really aghast.
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