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FAQ's (Facetiously Answered Questions) |
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1. First things first. Just what is CooperToons?
2. I have heard some disquieting rumors that there are changes coming in CooperToons. Is that true?
3. But what are the reasons for the changes? Sloth? Indifference? Too much time surfing the Net?
4. Can you expound a bit on the last answer? How can you bring more education and enlightenment to the world since your website is already available to all viewers throughout the world?
5. But what makes you decide to either post a drawing or an essay on any given topic?
6. You say CooperToons is educational and non-commercial, but I note that your site has considerable - I quote "Cartoons, Caricatures, and Other Illustrated Humor". This seems like a strange way to bring - and again I quote - "enlightenment into our increasingly credulous era".
7. I am a web programmer and I think your web site is too simple. You could make your site much more interesting with patterned colored background, colored text, and animated graphics.
8. What's the beef about sites that use advertisment to garner revenue? Now in our country, enterprise is valued above all else. So why won't you start reaping the benefits of our free market economy, and prove to us all that you are a true, patriotic American? Put up some ads!
9. In some of your writings you get rather preachy about the lack of accuracy on the Internet. Indeed, to use you own oft worn phrase, you will go into - quote "spittle-flinging diatribes" - unquote - which make Donald Duck in his most incoherent irascibility come off like he's reciting the theological writings of Albert Schweitzer. And yet you, yourself, are writing on the Internet. Isn't this the pot calling the kettle black?
10. All, right, Mr. Know-It-All, you've told us how your website is up here for Truth, Justice, and the American Way. So just how do you make a decision on what sources are the most reliable? After all, what gives you the authority to select what is the truth and what is not?
11. Although you seem to think this is an impossibility, I think I've found an error in one of your so-called Most Merry and Illustrated Histories or in one of your biographical essays. Might one ask His Highness if he would accept a correction?
12. I take great exception to some of your so-called histories and wrote you an E-mail with the corrections and the sources of information. Still the article hasn't been corrected. If we have disagreement here, can't we carry out a rational discussion on the issue? And certainly can't you have the common courtesy of at least acknowledging my E-mails?
13. Some of your information about the subjects of your histories and biographies seems irrelevant. Shouldn't you focus more on the individual's greatest achievements?
14. I noticed the last answer ended with a preposition. What's the matter with your grammar?
15. The more I look at your website, the more I find your illustrations, statements, essays, and stories puerile and offensive. How much longer must we suffer from such immaturity?
16. You make many snide comments about people who spend time watching television, motion pictures, and listening to talk radio shows. Why have you such a obsession about demeaning modern technology and those who enjoy contemporary culture?
17. Why don't you start a CooperToons blog?
18. I notice you have relatively little information of famous American political figures. Shouldn't you, if you are a truly interested in eradicating ignorance, help publicize the accomplishments of the dedicated men and women who have made America the greatest country in the history of the world?
19. I have trouble interpreting some of your illustrations. I mean, what is the meaning of Luciano Pavarotti as a song-and-dance-man, Harry Houdini trying to escape from a so-called Chinese Finger Trap, and Oscar Wilde wearing a t-shirt and jeans and holding a bowling ball? These don't make any sense.
20. You seem to take a rather condescending attitude about the educational level of the average man or woman. How can you claim, for instance, - quote - "no one" - unquote - knows the - quote - "historical figures" - unquote - that are the subjects of your essays?
21. From the last answer, I find your hauteur even more hypocritical and extreme. After all, there is a rumor that you yourself have never seen an episode of Seinfeld, The West Wing, or The Sopranos and an even graver report that you haven't watched a Super Bowl since 1975. So how can you claim to be well-informed enough to preach about, much less combat ignorance? How can you even call yourself an American?
22. I was greatly offended by something you wrote and one of your pictures. They were insulting to me and my friends and I demand an apology.
23. After reading these FAQs I question the suitability of this website for my friends, family, and my children. I'm really aghast.
Return to CooperToons Homepage
1. First things first. Just what is CooperToons?
CooperToons is a website dedicated to bringing worldwide enlightenment into an increasingly credulous era. Despite ours being an age of unprecedented learning, education, and communication, there is paradoxically - as was happened in the Renaissance and later in the Age of Enlightenment - a tendency use mysticism, superstition, and out and out pseudo-science as a way of rationilizing the mysteries of life. So CooperToons has decided to erect a beacon of light and truth for an everdarkening world.
2. I have heard some disquieting rumors that there are major changes coming in CooperToons. Is that true?
CooperToons will continue its mission at eradicating ignorance, superstition, and that most insidious malady of the 21st Century, ignoratia docta televisionis. That mission will not change.
But no website worth its salt will continue without change. So yes, the eagle eyed, the intelligent, the far seeing, tolerant, kind, cheerful, and honorable may note - and indeed, will welcome the changes in CooperToons. In particular, they should notice that CooperToons is pursuing longer term solutions in combating ignorance and superstituion. Naturally, the whiney, the infantile, the puerile, the shallow, the intolerant, and the lover of 24 hour cable will actually think there is less being done and and will say there are fewer changes and updates occurring on CooperToons than in the past. Of course, CooperToons expects such minions to respond - as they always have - with the severest spittle flinging diatribes such as [supply whiney voice], "Why didn't you update your posting?", "How come you didn't change the picture?", "Why did you post that topic?"
Pah! Phillistines!
3. But what are the reasons for change? Sloth? Indifference? Too much time surfing the Net?
As the intelligent receivers of knowledge must spend time in study and contemplation, so then the erudite providers of knowledge must devote time to research, scholarship, honing their old skills, and learning new ones. This sometimes gives the impression of sloth and indifference (and too much time surfing the Net), but it is nothing of the kind. After all when the prior of the monastery of Santa Maria delle Grazie in Milan asked Leonardo why it was taking him so long to finish the Last Supper - particularly the faces of Christ and Judas - and why he wasn't spending his time actually painting, Leonardo replied that he was working on the painting. But the point was that it was mental, not physical labor, and he told the prior that men of genius are doing the most when they are doing the least.
CooperToons could not have put it better.
The story went on that Leonardo, finally tired of the griping, painted the face of Judas to look like the prior. The source of this story is one of the earliest art history books, Giorgio Vasari's The Lives of the Most Excellent Painters, Sculptors and Architects. It is also suspiciously like a story Giorgio told about his friend Michelangelo when he was painting the Last Judgement.
By the way, "Da Vinci" is not really part of Leonardo's name. Leonardo, not being of the upper classes, had no proper last name. "Da Vinci" is simply an addition to show he was from, Vinci being a small village outside of Florence and "da" meaning from. So Leonardo Da Vinci is simply "Leonardo from Vinci". It is therefore quite proper to say "Leonardo" and OK to say he was "Leonardo Da Vinci". But it's not really correct to call him "Da Vinci".
On the other hand, you can maintain that the words "Da Vinci" refers to his father since Leonardo's full name was "Leonardo di ser Piero Da Vinci", ergo, Leonardo [the son] of Mr. Piero from Vinci". Some scholars say Leonardo was most likely born at the family's farm at Anchiano a short ways off. But if Leonardo went around introducing himself as "Leonardo da Anchiano" then no one would have known he was the famous Leonardo Da Vinci.
But the reader should not think any extra study and scholarship is for any selfish reason. Au contraire as they say, the extra effort is being directed toward creating new ways to bring education and enlightenment in an ever darkening world.
4. Can you expound a bit on the last answer? How can you bring more education and enlightenment to the world since your website is already available to all viewers throughout the world?
CooperToons has recently expanded his educational efforts into print media. You can purchase an expanded and revised version of A Most Merry and Illustrated History of the Last Days of Pompeii as paperback available from Amazon and more recently CooperToons has published an illustrated edition of George Washington's Rules of Civility of which a selection can be viewed as well if you click here. Both books are available from Amazon by clicking the images below.
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5. But what makes you decide to either post a drawing or an essay on any given topic?
CooperToons has repeatedly - that is repeatedly - heard friends, colleagues, and acquaintances speak of people, issues, and historical events with - quote - "knowledge" - unquote - gleaned exclusively from television and motion pictures. That much of this - quote - "knowledge" - unquote - is derived from heavily fictionalized screen treatments to the point the script shouldn't even use the real names of the people involved doesn't seem to sink in. And of course, nowadays - quote - "knowledge" - unquote - of the most distorted sort is now being often found and circulated the Internet. Therefore CooperToons selects topics where there is the need for accurate reporting from reliable and documented source material. Therefore it is the hope of CooperToons to return knowledge to a quality above that of the 19th Century dime novels.
6. You say CooperToons is educational, but I note that your site has considerable - I quote "Cartoons, Caricatures, and Other Illustrated Humor". This seems like a strange way to bring - and again I quote - "enlightenment into our increasingly credulous era".
The illustrations on CooperToons are intended to reinforce the educational message and the knowledge that it imparts. After all, the students of Confucius said he made four things the subject of his teaching: conduct, conscientiousness and truthfulness, a knowledge of literature and the arts [emphasis added]. Better words could not be spoken although it does make you wonder if the students of Confucius could count.
7. I am a web programmer and I think your web site is too simple. You could make your site much more interesting with patterned colored background, colored text, and animated graphics.
Sure, interesting for a web programmer; illegible for the reader.
In fighting ignorance and superstition, CooperToons feels it is necessary to have a competely user friendly and easily read website. Readers of websites could not give a flying hoo-hah about how much fun the web programmer has in programming the site, what code they work in, nor how many of the glitzy little gimmicks they know.
8. What's the beef about sites that use advertisment to garner revenue? Now in our country, enterprise is valued above all else. So why won't you start reaping the benefits of our free market economy, and prove to us all that you are a true, patriotic American? Put up some ads!
CooperToons (ptui) spits on Internet ads. Internet ads alienate the viewer and makes the site near impossible to use.
Besides as stated emphatically above, CooperToons is an educational website dedicated to eradicating superstition and ignorance in an increasingly superstitous and ignorant world and does so without thought to personal recompensation. So the CooperToons website is maintained as public service and to avoid any actual or apparent conflict of interest or influence from any special interest groups, CooperToons is entirely self-financed. It is through true patriotism that CooperToons keeps ads off its site!
And for what it's worth, CooperToons has actually turned down offers for advertisement.
9. In some of your writings you get rather preachy about the lack of accuracy on the Interent. Indeed, to use you own oft worn phrase, you will go into - quote "spittle-flinging diatribes" - unquote - which make Donald Duck in his most incoherent irascibility come off like he's reciting the theological writings of Albert Schweitzer. And yet you, yourself, are writing on the Internet. Isn't this the pot calling the kettle black?
CooperToons regards the Internet as one of the greatest inventions of mankind (even if it really wasn't invented by an American politician). But although it has revolutionized the ability to disseminate information it has also revolutionized the ability to exponentially magnify misinformation. CooperToons, in rebellion against ignorance and superstition, goes to great trouble and at time expense - yes, expense - to locate and use the most reliable sources
10. All, right, Mr. Know-It-All, you've told us how your website is up here for Truth, Justice, and the American Way. So just how do you make a decision on what sources are the most reliable? After all, what gives you the authority to select what is the truth and what is not?
The true historian does not choose which sources are the best. He evaluates the information and speaks the truth as far as the true evidence permits.
But what is most important in garnering truth from the historical record is to realize that if there is not enough information to draw a definite conclusion, then no definite conclusion should be drawn. Saying you believe something is true when the evidence does not permit such a belief is just as incorrect - indeed, out and out wrong - as deliberately promulgating a barefaced lie. A particular failing of our society - and a hallmark of a superstitious one - is too many people believe things are true because 1) they want them to be true or 2) they are afraid not to believe they are true.
Rant, rave, snort.
11. Although you seem to think this is an impossibility, I think I've found an error in one of your so-called Most Merry and Illustrated Histories or in one of your biographical essays. Might one ask His Highness if he would accept a correction?
Sure, but there are a few trifling guidelines.
First, be succinct. State exactly what Merry History it is and what part is in error.
Next, provide the correct answer and - most importantly - give your source of information. If the author is convinced the Merry History is in error, it will be corrected.
But DON'T get into the game of "So tell me why you say that so-and-so did this-and-that when Stephen Ambrose said so-and-so did that-and-this." Such queries will be banished with a click of the "Delete" button and the E-mail address being added to the SPAM list.
Remember, the CooperToons tolerance for SPAM is pretty much at its nadir. Even E-mail from friends and family is rapidly designated SPAM if it is sufficiently annoying.
Most importantly, make sure you have found an actual error. Don't waste time with stuff like:
1) Splitting hairs on trivialities due to variant reports. None of that "You claimed Nathan Hale said he only had one life to GIVE for his country, and I have a book that says his words were he only had one life to LOSE for his country." That's also a good way to get your E-mail name listed as SPAM.
2) Quibbling when statements are given illustratively. Like, "You said Thor Heyerdahl went to New York with his manuscript tucked under his arm. Isn't it more likely he carried it in a briefcase?" Spammed again!
3) "Correcting" what are legitimate discussions of possible motivations, interpretations, and what are clearly personal opinions. This stuff you can recognize from the wording.
However, pointing out spelling errors is much appreciated. Being one's own researcher, writer, illustrator, editor, publisher, AND proofreader is a pain in the rear end.
12. I take great exception to some of your so-called histories and wrote you an E-mail with the corrections and the sources of information. Still the article hasn't been corrected. If we have disagreement here, can't we carry out a rational discussion on the issue? And certainly can't you have the common courtesy of at least acknowledging my E-mails?
Working backwards here, CooperToons responds mostly to requests for using illustrations or writings and as promptly as possible, attempting to give an immediate response after reading. He also often responds promptly and cheerfully to E-mails saying how great the article or drawing is. But he is a bit less prompt to respond to correspondence which says he's full of ...., well, that says his writings or drawings are of less than stellar quality. Those E-mails hurt his feelings.
As far as electronic (or other) discussions, as was stated above CooperToons does not find Internet debates a particularly fruitful pastime. Usually no one is convinced of the other's position, and the - quote - "discussion" - unquote - usually ends up as the inevitable spittle flinging diatribe and impolite invective.
So following that answer. If a - quote - "error" - unquote - is found and - quote - "documentation" - unquote - is supplied but no change is made in a few days, it most likely means CooperToons was not persuaded that his writing was indeed in error.
13. Some of your information about the subjects of your histories and biographies seems irrelevant. Shouldn't you focus more on the individual's greatest achievements?
CooperToons does focus on their greatest achievements. It's just that often their greatest achievement of the individual are not what they are most famous for.
14. I noticed the last answer ended with a preposition. What's the matter with your grammar?
Listen, my grammar was a nice old lady.
NyeahahahahahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!.
Seriously, though, a preposition is a fine word to end a sentence with.
15. The more I look at your website, the more I find your illustrations, statements, essays, and stories puerile and offensive. How much longer must we suffer from such immaturity?
So tell me again about your computer which does nothing but connect to the Internet and can access only a single URL.
16. You make many snide comments about people who spend time watching television, motion pictures, and listening to talk radio shows. Why have you such a obsession about demeaning modern technology and those who enjoy contemporary culture?
I suppose you mean a comment like in "A Most Merry and Illustrated History of Daily Life in Ancient Egypt" where I say, the reader may "set down the remote, lean back in their recliner, vent forth a hearty belch, and wonder what life was like in the time of the Pharaohs." Well, there should be nothing seen in these remarks as being critical. After all, it's probably a good thing every now and then to set down the remote, lean back in your recliner, and vent forth a hearty belch. Good for the digestion.
17. Why don't you start a CooperToons blog?
Again CooperToons (ptui) spits on most blogs. Good blogs are few and far between although some do exist.
The said truth is that blogs are almost always horribly formated, glacial in loading and performance, and just out and out unreadable. Their popularity comes because the individual blogger needs to know nothing about website programming, performance, and usability and yet still can believe they have a - quote - "website" - unquote - regardless of it being unreadable, glacial in loading and performance, and horribly formatted
Far better to learn at least some rudimentary web programming to create your own web pages as you see fit. It all boils down to who will be the master.
18. I notice you have relatively little information of famous American political figures. Shouldn't you, if you are a truly interested in eradicating ignorance, help publicize the accomplishments of the dedicated men and women who have made America the greatest country in the history of the world?
Yes, it is true that American political figures have made the country a model where job security, stable pension plans, and the best health care is now available to all congressmen, senators, American presidents, corporate executives, and other multimillionaires.
But as far as drawing more pictures of those jackas ..., well, those paragons of the American way, CooperToons has avoided it since for some reason when the drawings are completed he always feels he has to go wash his hands.
Actually CooperToons' suggestion for political reform is to adopt the system of Ancient Rome. Elected officials get paid nothing and support themselves through their own megabuck private incomes, kickbacks, shifty business investments, and out-and-out bribes. Which really wouldn't change much.
19. I was greatly offended when I saw you posted one of you biographical essays in Spanish. As an American, shouldn't you only use English?
Respuesta Usted leída número 14, por favor.
20. You seem to take a rather condescending attitude about the educational level of the average man or woman. How can you claim, for instance, - quote - "no one" - unquote - knows the - quote - "historical figures" - unquote - that are the subjects of your essays?
Try this experiment. Next time you're out taking a walk around - that is, taking a break from the recliner and the remote - stop passers-by and ask if they've ever heard of Brendan Behan. Out of a hundred, you'll probably get a big fat zero.
21. From the last answer, I find your hauteur even more hypocritical and extreme. After all, there is a rumor that you yourself have never seen an episode of Seinfeld, The West Wing, or The Sopranos and an even graver report that you haven't watched a Super Bowl since 1975. So how can you claim to be well-informed enough to preach about, much less combat ignorance? How can you even call yourself an American?
As far as being informed, most of CooperToons information is directly from books. Remember them? Those funny non-electronic devicies with the white flappy things in the middle?
As for the other question, you'll have to take that up with George Washington and his buddies. They wrote the rules, not me.
22. I was greatly offended by something you wrote and one of your pictures. They were insulting to me and my friends and I demand an apology.
CooperToons sincerely regrets there is anyone who is so small minded, petty, and idiotic as to take offense by anything written or any of the images posted.
23. After reading these FAQs I question the suitability of this website for my friends, family, and my children. I'm really aghast.
Well, if you're ever aghast in my house, feel free to do as you like.
