CooperToons Logo Return to Home Page

Hold It!!!!

You are about to enter a page dedicated to

Please read the following and select the posted instructions as appropriate.

 

I realize that if I continue past this page that I might possibly, perhaps, and maybe will find something that might offend the sensibilities of maidenly aunts, dainty women, and delicate men. Therefore if I am offended and so show my own lack of sophistication, tolerance, and belief in the right of people to read and learn what they will, then that's just tough tiddy.

 

Yes, indeed! I am of sufficient tolerance and intelligence not to be offended by new knowledge and thoughts and beliefs that are different than mine. So let's move on and learn something new!

Hell, no! I can't stand anything that might represent views or standards contrary to my own and personally think the first ten amendments to the United States Constitution should be repealed! So for heaven's sake, take me back!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CooperToons Logo Return to Home Page Return to Home Page Return to Jo Brand Caricature

Jo Brand on the Writings of Pliny the Elder

 

Jo Brand

Jo Brand is a British psychiatric nurse turned stand up comedienne. Her style and topics generally tend toward comments on feminism with the occasional reference to her own non-glamor girl appearance. It's her common sense keeps the panel of Stephen Fry's BBC quiz program Qi from going too far off the deep end and as guest host of Have I Got News For You kept the guests and regular panelists from too much irrelevant brouhaha.

Jo's sardonic humor spares no one and that includes herself. One time Stephen was asking questions about cures and antidotes proposed by the ancient Roman author Pliny the Elder. As usual Stephen's questions were extremely difficult, and he asked Danny Baker was "What does Pliny confidently expect to cure by recommending that the patient eats the heart of a black jackass outside - out of doors, that is - on the second day of the moon?"

"Mumps," Danny replied and then added he had no idea. He then said, though, that the story goes that eternal life would be imparted to anyone who could lick their own elbow. There was the idea, he said, that you cannot lick your elbow, "but they say if you can, you will live forever."

"But," Stephen interjected, "isn't that how socialism was invented? That someone said 'Come, let us lick each others elbows'?"

"The thing is," Alan Davies added, "that no young man of licking age will spend any time at all trying to lick his elbow."

(As an aside, in a later episdoe where Danny appeared, Stephen had invited a young lady who demonstrated she could lick her own elbow. Danny was flabbergasted.)

Stephen brought everyone back to the question of why you would eat the heart of a black jackass out of doors. This got everyone onto the practical practical problems of the cure.

"And where do you get a black jackass, anyway?" asked Alan. "These days," added Stephen.

"Kentucky Fried Jackass," answered Jo.

"Well, I'll tell you the answer," Stephen said, "It's actually 'epilepsy'". "Although," he added, "he also prescribes for epilepsy the consumption of lightly poached bears testes, a camels brain, dried and taken with honey, and in extremist, a draught of fresh gladiator's blood."

"He doesn't mention Tegretol, then?" Jo asked.

Moving to another remedy, Stephen asked, "Who should we ask this? Jo, I think, you're the medical person here. What would you think if I touched the tip of your genitals with linen or papyrus?"

"To be honest, Stephen, I'd be bloody impressed if you found the tip".

The correct answer - which Jo got right - was that this was the ancient cure for incontinence. "Although of course," concluded Stephen, "you might opt instead of the linen or papyrus for the alternative cure for incontinence which is to knock back a glass of sweet wine mixed liberally with the ash from a burnt pig's penis and then urinating in your or your neighbor's dog's bed."

 

Return to Jo Brand Caricature

Return to CooperToons Caricatures

Return to CooperToons Homepage